In the culture and part of the world that I live in, the New Year is celebrated on January 1st. Typically, people make “New Year’s Resolutions” at this time. These are general things we want to change about ourselves like “getting slimmer” or “working out more.” The gyms fill up in January, but by February they are back to their normal lull (much to my relief as I hate crowds). In my view, I think that it’s pretty obvious that these New Year’s Resolutions we make don’t work and quickly fade.
What I would like to offer is a different perspective. What if we shifted these New Year’s Resolutions, which are basically lofty goals that we can’t achieve to something softer and easier to manage. What if instead we set intentions for the New Year. What if our goals became something more rooted in who we really are and are something more attainable.
The Shift from Resolutions to Intentions
Here’s what I mean by this: Instead of setting a goal of, “I need to lose 10 pounds by February 1st,” what if instead you set an intention of treating your body kindly and focusing on your health. That way you aren’t shaming yourself with guilt as you reach for that cookie, you are asking yourself if this cookie will help nourish your body. You focus on showing compassion for yourself and realize that you aren’t going to do it perfectly everyday. Maybe you even eat that cookie today and your self-talk isn’t about how you messed this diet up, but you tell yourself that this is too hard to do today and that’s okay. You notice how that cookie made your body feel. Did it help or do you feel yucky like your digestion isn’t so good? Tomorrow you recommit to treating your body kindly, nourishing it with what it needs. Maybe you have some carrots and hummus instead and notice how that makes you feel. For me, it feels pretty good if I’m really honest with myself and tuning in.
What this Looks Like
Instead of just focusing on your physical appearance, connect your intentions to your mind, body, and spirit. I have found that when these three are in harmony together, I feel my best. Come up with ideas that will improve all of these areas in your life.
My intention has been to focus on my mental, physical, and spiritual health. I do this by intending to practice Qigong. While I would like to practice it daily and I know I feel my best when I do, some weeks I get to it daily and some I don’t. However, I return to it again and again and I know that it’s nurturing multiple areas of my life when I do my Qigong practice. I also have an intention of expressing myself creatively and reducing my stress. I try to honor this intention by playing my violin and going to a yoga class weekly. Again, I don’t achieve this weekly, but I certainly notice that I feel my best the weeks that I do achieve this. This awareness or noticing makes me more likely to actually do both of these the next week. Each week I begin anew and try to make these a priority.
Checking-in on Your Intentions
Another thing to consider is, why are we simply setting a “resolution” once a year and then if we don’t do it perfectly in the first few weeks, we decide we are a failure and give up? Then we repeat the whole cycle again year after year. Instead, I would advise setting more frequent intentions. Set one for the month, the week, or even the day. Return to it and let it change as your needs change. Do you need to change your focus? Do you need to change your goal in some way to make it more attainable? Start with something you know you can reasonably achieve and then slowly work up to where you would like to be. Maybe you want to meditate an hour a day but you know this is totally unreasonable. Start with five minutes per day and slowly work your way up. Let your intention be, “I will cultivate stillness and presence in my daily life.” That way whether you meditate five minutes on a busy day or 30 minutes on a good day, you are honoring your intention either way. Do what’s workable for you, not what you think you “should” be doing. If you need to make a change in your intentions, make the change and don’t wait.
The SMART Goal Trap
This may seem counterintuitive for many people, especially those like me who were taught to make SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound). SMART goals are great when you have a project with a clear endpoint like “save $5000 for a downpayment,” but if you are trying to reduce stress, change your mindset, or form long-term habits, SMART goals can fail because the outcome isn’t a single event, but the outcome is consistency and resilience. If you make a SMART goal of “meditate for 30 minutes daily first thing in the morning for 6 months,” the trap is that if you miss a day, the SMART goal is “broken.” Naturally, you will feel discouraged and you might give up on it feeling like you “failed.” This is why the shift to the intention of “cultivate stillness and presence” is a solution that provides more compassion for yourself and is something you are more likely to keep doing day after day without the shame of feeling like you “failed.” It’s important to realize that intentions help us with sustainable habit formation and are a great choice for inner work. The key is to focus on the process and not on the product.
Final Thoughts
This New Year, give yourself the gift of compassionate intention-setting instead of rigid, shaming resolutions. By shifting your focus from a single, measurable, and often unattainable “product” to the sustainable process of caring for your mind, body, and spirit, you create space for resilience and self-kindness. Embrace the wisdom that inner change is not a race to a finish line, but an ongoing practice—one where you can reset your intention not just yearly, but monthly, weekly, or even daily, without the burden of “failure.” Choose a path rooted in nourishment, presence, and awareness, and watch how that gentle, consistent commitment naturally guides you toward your most authentic and vibrant self.
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