If you are reading this article, then you are familiar with my blog name: Wellness Tools for Thriving. I thought it would be worth diving into the topic of what thriving is exactly. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word “thrive” as “1. To grow vigorously (flourish). 2. To gain in wealth or possessions (prosper) 3. To progress towards or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances.” The word thriving is defined as “characterized by success or prosperity.” While certainly financial security is important for us to feel safe and to meet our material and basic needs, I want to focus on the ideas of thriving as growing, flourishing, being our best selves despite or maybe even because of the challenges we have faced. Because at the end of the day, life isn’t just about surviving. To live life to the fullest, we need to focus on thriving. So how do we do this?
Thriving is best understood as the result of optimized well-being. Well-being is a state where we feel positive emotions and life satisfaction and are also pursuing growth, meaningful goals, and fulfilling relationships (Madeson, 2017). Thriving happens when people achieve high levels of emotional, psychological, and social well-being which enables them to realize their potential, cope effectively with challenges, and contribute to their communities (Huffington, 2014; World Health Organization, 2004).
The concept of well-being was discussed by Seligman (2012) who poses these five elements that contribute to well-being:
- Positive Emotions: These include joy, hope, love, gratitude.
- Engagement: This is a feeling of flow where you are totally focused on what you are doing in the present moment.
- Relationships: These are positive relationships that make you feel loved, supported and valued by others.
- Meaning: Having a purpose in life where you serve something greater than yourself.
- Accomplishment: Working towards and reaching goals, mastering an area which gives you a sense of pride.
These elements are referred to as the PERMA+ model. The “+” includes other factors which contribute to well-being including optimism, physical activity, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition. Let’s take a closer look at how to promote each one of these areas in life.
Positive Emotions
Positive emotions include hope, joy, love, and gratitude to name a few. I prefer to call these “comfortable” emotions. It gets away from the idea that some feelings are “good” and some are “bad.” All feelings are okay, but there are certainly some feelings and emotions we would prefer to feel and these are the ones we are talking about here.
Some ways to increase positive emotions that I find helpful include:
- Keeping a gratitude journal: This can be as simple as a note on your phone or a daily one liner you hand write out in a journal with an attractive cover. Try writing something you are grateful for for 5 minutes a day every day and see how you feel.
- Listening to music you love: I create playlists for different needs. I have a “feel good” playlist.
If you want to dive into this topic, a great book that I found helpful is Hardwiring happiness: The new brain science of contentment, calm, and confidence (Hanson, 2013).
Engagement
Engagement is similar to the idea of flow. Flow is an idea first described by Csikszentmihalyi (1989). When we are in flow, time seems to stop and we are totally engrossed in what we are doing. We are totally living in the present moment and focused on the activity we are doing.
How we find flow is unique to every person. It’s often found during when we are being creative. I play violin and find flow in improvising or playing a piece of music I love. Others find it in art, creative writing, or dance or creatively solving a problem in their field. To increase our engagement, it’s helpful to practice living in the moment, even during everyday tasks. This can be challenging to do at first. If you want to cultivate this, it’s helpful to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment and acceptance of the thoughts that come and go without judging them as good or bad (Psychology Today, n.d.).
Relationships
Cultivating positive relationships is an important way to improve our well-being. This helps foster our social well-being. It may also be necessary to spend less time on relationships that drain us emotionally. This may mean setting some healthy boundaries with people. Spend some time and ask yourself, who are the people that fill me up? When I’m with this person, do I feel like I have more energy after being with them? Positive relationships can be found in activities we enjoy doing. I’ve met a lot of great people in my yoga class. I also have several friends from childhood that are good, supportive people for me. You might want to regularly check-in with supportive friends. Focus your time and energy in cultivating these relationships.
Meaning
Meaning is a very broad area that encompasses a lot of different areas and varies widely in what people find meaning in. Basically, it’s when you connect to something greater than yourself. This could be religious in nature, but you could find meaning in your job, or maybe it’s a social cause that’s important to you. I find meaning in practicing Reiki. I also find meaning through writing this blog, and am grateful to all of you who take the time to read it. Other ways to find meaning could be joining an organization that matters to you. The key is to find ways to use what you are passionate about to help others.
Accomplishment
Accomplishment is when we feel pride after reaching a goal or mastering a skill. Accomplishment could be earning a degree or finding success in a new hobby like pickleball. Accomplishment is more effective when it’s something we really want to do for ourselves rather than pressure from external sources to be who we “think we should be.” Start with smaller, easily achievable goals that are feasible for you to accomplish. This will give you a sense of accomplishment you can build on. Maybe it’s journaling five minutes a day or taking a 30 minute walk several times a week. For me, I found accomplishment in a wide variety of areas. I felt accomplishment when I published my first journal article and earned my Educational Specialist degree, but I also feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish a mandala in an adult coloring book. In the early days of my son’s infancy, going a day without doing laundry felt like an accomplishment. Accomplishments change as the seasons of life change. Whether it’s big or small, it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements.
Physical Well-being
As I mentioned, there are other factors that contribute to well-being. A person’s physical well-being is important as well and includes engaging in physical activity, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition. A deep dive into these areas is beyond the scope of this post, but here are some ideas to get you started:
- Start with light, consistent exercise such as a brief walk outside or a gentle yoga class.
- Set a regular bed-time and stick to it. There are apps and reminders on many phones that help remind you when it’s time to wind down and head to bed. I do a body scan and self-Reiki before bed to help me be present in my body and end the day on a relaxing note.
- Focus on a diet that includes lots of fruits and vegetables and includes whole foods rather than processed foods.
In conclusion, thriving is not just the absence of physical or mental illness or distress, but the result of flourishing across multiple dimensions of well-being, empowered by strong social connections, and purposeful living (World Health Organization, 2004). I also want to add that thriving isn’t a destination where we reach it and then we are there forever. Thriving is a journey. Life ebbs and flows and we will have periods in our life where we feel like we are thriving and then periods where we feel like we are just surviving, trying to make it through each day. The important thing is to make thriving an intention, something that we continually strive to come back to. Do I feel like I am thriving? Some days yes, some days no. What I do know is that I have the tools and strategies I need to always come back to a feeling of thriving. I hope you have found some ideas here to help you feel like you can thrive in life as well.
References:
Csikszentmihalyi, M., & LeFevre, J. (1989). Optimal experience in work and leisure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 56(5), 815-822, https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.56.5.815
Feeney, B.C., & Collins. (2015). Thriving through relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, (1), 22-28). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4356946/
Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The new brain science of contentment, calm, and confidence. Harmony.
Huffington, A. (2014). Thrive: The third metric to redefining success and creating a life of well-being, wisdom, and wonder. New York: Harmony.
Madeson, M. (2017, Feb 24). Seligman’s PERMA+ model explained: A theory of wellbeing. https://positivepsychology.com/perma-model/
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Dictionary definition: thrive. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/thrive
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Dictionary definition: thriving. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/thriving
Psychology Today. (n.d.). Mindfulness. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness#the-benefits-of-mindfulness
Seligman, M.E. (2012). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Atria Paperback.
World Health Organization. (2004). Promoting mental health: Concepts, emerging evidence, practice. Geneva: WHO. https://iris.who.int/bitstream/handle/10665/43286/9241562943_eng.pdf?sequence=1
